Creative Relationship Design™ (n): the practice of designing a relationship to fit the unique needs and desires of the parties involved without subscribing to social norms and conventional relationship paradigms.

This is for you if you don’t feel like the “typical” relationship
model fits for you (or your relationship), and you want to design something different.

We work with individuals who are single and looking and with people who are in LGBTQI relationships, open relationships, and alternative heterosexual and monogamous relationships.

For people who are in relationship,

issues that we work with include:

  • opening/closing your relationship
  • discovering how open/closed/monogamous/non-monogamous is right for you
  • designing your agreements
  • dealing with jealousy
  • tending to the relationship “ecosystem”
  • relationship and community
  • practicing transparency
  • fine tuning communication skills
  • gender dynamics

For people who are looking to be in relationship,

issues that we work with include:

  • the art of being open for connection
  • finding the right relationship design for you
  • navigating the queer/open dating scene (including apps and online platforms)
  • fine tuning communication skills for dating
  • support through the entire dating process from first meeting to in a relationship
  • walking the line between availability and desperation
  • dealing with rejection, longing, frustration, fear, and vulnerability
  • healing past relationship wounds, heartbreak, and loss

The Coaching Process

WHAT HAPPENS HERE? well, lots of things…

  • you let go of how you thought relationships had to look and open your mind to new and different ways of being in relationship.
  • you get to know yourself a whole lot better.
  • you confront your stuff around love, intimacy, connection, relationships. (i.e. you uncover old stories you have been telling yourself in order to understand how you’re organized around relationships and why).
  • you re-write these stories
  • you re-wire the conditioning
  • you re-imagine, re-invent, and re-design your relationship or
  • you find the relationship that you’re longing for.
  • you fill yourself with love. and then more love.


We offer six session packages to start.  Coaching is done over the phone, Skype, or in person depending on the coach.

  • 6 sessions, 50 minutes each for $1000

  • 10 sessions, 50 minutes each for $1650

Consulting with Lani

How it works

Sometimes people want to be told what to do.  I respect that.  And in general I believe that it’s much more powerful to find what’s true and right inside of ourselves and let that knowing be our compass. With that said, there is a time and place for some good old fashioned advice, brainstorming, heart storming, telling it like it is, or some know-how delivered crisply.  So, I offer consultation sessions a la carte where me and you can have a session of Q and A however you like it.  This is great if you’re not wanting a full coaching experience but want some quick guidance.


They can be done over the phone, Skype, or in person in West Marin, CA.

  • 1 session a la carte, 90 minutes for $300.

In the spirit of clarity and to honor my blunt Sicilian roots, I’d like to be explicit about what we are NOT offering:

  • superficial dating advice
  • matchmaking services
  • pick up techniques
  • style consulting